http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080509/ap_on_sc/dissolving_bodies_6
This story tells of a possible new tool for the funeral industry. Lye. If it were as clean as the story tries to suggest, I’d be all for it.
“because of its environmental advantages, some in the funeral industry say it could someday rival burial and cremation.”
Personally, I couldn’t care less what happens to me if and when I die. I’d like there to be a big wake, because I like being responsible for big ol’ parties, but that’s not about me. Funerals and wakes and things are about the survivors, their loss and their sudden reminder of their mortality. George Carlin said he’d like to be “blown up”. There’s an idea – the biggest roman candle of all time… hmmm…
That’s not entirely true, what I said about not caring what happens to my body – I don’t not want it buried whole. What an incredible waste of space. I worked in the cemetery/funeral home business for seven years. Our company owned over thirty cemeteries. Thousands of beautiful acres that can never be used for anything but recherche du temps perdu.
Back to the article, it suggests that, because the Mayo Clinic and the University of Florida let the effluence spill into the rivers, it must be okay – them guys are smart.
I was going to do a mess of research about this and that to come up with some reasoning behind why this just seemed odd – but it turned out common logic is all I need to start this argument.
A) It’s a bad thing to throw dead human bodies into rivers that aren’t in New Jersey.
B) It’s a worse thing to throw lye into rivers, even after that body you threw in.
In a fight between lye and a body, the lye kicks ass, leaving none of the body to do any harm – but unless there’s a chemical interaction that I’m not aware of that turns that lye into river roses (I would call that hypothetical interaction the “KarlRove synthesis”) that can’t possibly be environmentally friendly.
I’d like to see a little less of the new funeral processes and a little more questioning of the Mayo Clinic and U. of Florida.
Tags: death, environment, funeral, lye
